Up Close and Personal : The Truth About Living Alone
It’s actually been a hot minute since I last made a post like this one, as I worry that a lot of the readers here aren’t really that interested in my personal going-ons and struggle with life as this blog mainly revolves around books and movies instead of my personal feelings and baggage.
However, when I started this blog, I also promised myself that this would also be my online diary of sorts. Of course, the focus of Literatures and Movies is and always will be about films/tv shows/books and the likes. I always aim to make things fun and upbeat for the readers who happens to come across the blog or who are subscribed to it.
Now, I am by no means a mental health professional. If anything, the only thing that I’m professional is, is probably procrastinating. But the idea behind these types of “”Up Close and Personal” blog posts, is to show you that it’s okay to feel things. And it’s definitely more than okay if you’re not feeling okay.
You know, people mentions a lot about how living alone will change you for the better. How you’ll be better at budgeting, cooking, time management. You know, the whole shebang. And that is true, to some extent.
There is so much more freedom and space for yourself, and by that, it gave you the opportunity to discover yourself and be more in touch with yourself. With that said however, don’t assume that living alone doesn’t come with a high price. And no, I’m not just saying about the rent, gas, electricity and water bills. I’m talking about the price your mental health will have to pay to attain independence and satisfaction with self.
ALONE AND LONELINESS
You see, if you are fortunate enough to come from a loving family, living alone is going to be tough. All we’ve ever heard and see on the internet is how fun living alone can be. But no one is telling you just how crippling it can be at times.
Coming home after a long day of school/work to a dark and cold house, is something that you need to get used to. Now, if it’s a good day, then it’s no big deal. You’ll simply turn on the lights, turn on the air conditioner and go about your activities. Be it making dinner, cleaning, doing laundry and etc.
But then what happens when it’s a bad day? Because believe it or not, it happens to the best of us. What happens when you come home, all you wanted was a hug and a warm home-cooked meal, but even that is not instantly attainable. Looking around at your dark and cluttered apartment, the realization of just how alone you are bears down on you, and then what happens next?
IT GETS BETTER
I am no Oprah, I am no therapist, but trust me when I say, it will get better.
This advice comes from my personal experience of living alone, a few years in now. I started living alone when I was 17. And when I say that, I don’t mean, 10 minutes from my parents type of living alone. I mean, I move to another country to study and live alone type of living alone.
If I could sum up my first year with 3 words, it would be : it was hell.
I’m pretty sure I at least cried my eyes out once every two weeks. Be it because I missed having my parents around, or because school was stressing me out, or the fact that I have no one to turn to when I’m feeling sad and lonely.
But I kept with it, taking it day by day. Trying out new hobbies, finding peace with myself and trying to be content with being alone. I can’t say this will be the same for everyone else, but at least for me, and I hope you as well if you’re having a hard time living alone right now, it will get better.
Every single time, after I finish writing an “Up Close and Personal” post, I’d always look back at it and wonder if I should just delete the whole thing and post a book review or the sorts. I always question myself whether or not this would be worth the read …. worth anything, really.
But then again, I have mentioned before that this blog is also partly my personal online diary. And it only makes sense to babble and write about whatever you’re feeling, or whatever that’s bothering you on it, no?
I don’t know. I guess sometimes, when blogging becomes more like a chore instead of this fun thing that I enjoy, I need to break free from the monotone feelings that it evokes and coughed up something like this. At the very least, I hope this post entertained you in some way. If not, well, there’s always next time, and I can always try better. *wink*
Other posts :
- 10 Books That Makes You Feel Warm and Ooey Gooey Inside
- Korean Movie Review : Door Lock –– A Suspenseful, Bone Chilling Thriller